The 'Villes part 3: Nashville, TN

March 20th-23rd

Nashville... oh Nashville. Dirty, naughty, naked Nashville. We'll never be the same after knowing you.

We stayed with Ellen's high school friend Erin, who no longer has green hair, but is still as ridiculous and explosive as ever. Vegan feminist zine-publishing nurse with a love of vinyl records and guys she picks up in liquor stores. (Ok, so it was just the one guy.)



Highlights of our stay with her include:

Hooping and acro next to the Parthenon. (What? Yes. We said Parthenon.) Apparently Nashville is "the Athens of the South", so decades ago they built a full scale replica of the Parthenon right in the middle of town. It's surrounded by a beautiful park, and scores of unruly children.



The honky-tonk strip. It's like Vegas, but smaller, and rockabilly. Giant neon boots and cacti line the street while hundreds of drunk people meld together like a simmering pot of pasty-white fondue -- complete with 6$ pitchers of PBR and in every bar, a live band belting out Journey. We'd found it; our homeland: Caucasia!!



Each bar seemed to have it's own special feature:



So Erin knows these guys, right, and these guys call up on Saturday asking her to help them out: they need her to make pasties for their show that night. Their all-hairy-man-cake burlesque show. So of course we help out.



That night, from the darkest depths of the diviest dive bar that ever dove, came a show so massive, so huge, so...just totally wrong, that Ellen stills laughs about it, and Roger still has man-boob filled nightmares: Burlyesque.




(Please note that this man is wearing strawberry pasties, and has poured a vanilla milkshake all over himself.)

Thank you, Nashville, for showing us something we will never, ever forget. No matter how hard we try.